


Tastyred

by Not_You



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, F/M, Female Ejaculation, Lipstick & Lip Gloss, Naked Female Clothed Male, Suit Porn, Suits, Xenophilia, warning: i do not even homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 01:30:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3190742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave makes himself all pretty so Terezi can ruin him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tastyred

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NoBrandHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBrandHero/gifts).



> NoBrandHero is not on the porn train. Despite that, she wanted to subvert the usual Clothed (dominant) Male/Naked (submissive) Female shenanigans while playing with Terezi's love of red.
> 
> By our powers combined, (in a a 99/1 split tilted my way, as I have been ordered to note) this fic was born. All errors in hotness are mine. All errors in actual Homestuck canon are NoBrandHero's, because I'm not even part of this fandom. All troll genitalia mentioned is of my own design.

You're not really sure when this became a Thing. Somehow this has gone from A Thing You Do Because Terezi Likes It to an actual thing of your own, and you suppose you'll just have to make peace with that. Besides, the nail polish is kinda cool. A cheerful little punctuation mark at the end of each finger and toe. You make sure none of them are chipped, and then start getting dressed. For sex. It's kind of dumb and kind of awesome, which you guess is how girls feel about lingerie. You start with your own little red panties that pass Terezi's test. Mercifully, they are actually boxer-briefs. You'd probably wear lacy panties for Terezi, and she must never know that. Next you pull on your pants and undershirt, which are of course both the same red. Everything is the same red, from your fingertips to the shoes you slide your feet into and the thin socks under them. Bright, blazing blood red that matches your eyes. You button up your shirt and get the tail neatly tucked in, and then spend what feels like forever putting a real Windsor knot in your tie because Terezi likes to wreck you, and you like to give her more to wreck.

"Nearly done, coolkid?" she says, just outside the bathroom door. You shiver at how much more pronouced the buzz in her voice is. Your bug-eyed alien girlfriend wants you as much as you want her, and that is so far beyond awesome.

"Nearly," you tell her, proud of how even you manage to sound. "Just gotta make myself pretty for you, baby."

She snickers, and drums her fingertips on the door. "Good. I'll go and wait so you can make an entrance."

She knows you so well. It would bring a tear to your eye if you weren't way too cool for that shit. You slip into the vest, and can't help loving the way the lining slides over the fabric of your shirt. Terezi is going to make a suit pervert out of you yet, you just know it. The vest is just a little darker, made of the same medium-weight twill as the rest of the suit where the shirt is silk/cotton blend and a little brighter and paler at the same time. The tie is silk, with a diagonal stripe brocaded into it, and the shoes are real leather because Terezi insisted. You study the subtle contrasts within the blaze of color in the mirror, and then take a deep breath and pick up your lip liner. This is probably the weirdest part for you, and sometimes you can't even tell if it's good-weird or bad-weird. Your hand is steady as you draw your line, though, and you fill it in the way it says to in women's magazines. Lipstick next, slick and thick and still so strange. You put clear gloss over it to make it really gleam, and you do not think of clown paint as you slide your shades back on. You take a last moment to brush off some imaginary lint, pull your tie crooked and straighten it again, and then go to join Terezi where she's lounging back against the headboard, grinning at you.

You do your best model-walk over and then execute a neat turn, just a little bit prissy about it so Terezi will know you're being at least 65% ironic. She applauds and then beckons you closer with both hands and a friendly leer. This part has _totally_ become a Thing, how easily she can just put you where she wants you. It's some kind of Amazon fetish and you can absolutely live with that. She pulls you down and rolls you onto your back, slinging one lean grey thigh across you and propping herself on her hands to just breathe you in for a long moment. Her shades are already on the bedside table, and you gaze up into those wide red eyes and shudder. She sighs and lowers her head, nuzzling her cheek against your chest like a cat.

"Mmm, tastyred."

You make an extremely manly sound that is in no way a whine, and just lie there and let Terezi feel you up. There's something about those little hands sneaking in under your jacket that pretty much turns you into jelly. And then she pulls them out and takes your shades off and it means way more than it should, just like it does every fucking time.

"Delicious," she says, voice soft and smooth now, that tender register like the drone of a bumblebee. She sets the glasses with her own and then kisses your eyelids, resting her forehead against yours and inhaling again before giving you a slow, slick kiss, getting the lipstick all over both of you. "Fake cherry goodness." She kisses you again. "Ccrreeaaammyy."

"Y-yeah?" The last lipstick was apparently like clear strawberry glaze and not creamy at all. "Lemme know if you're gonna eat the whole tube again, so I can pencil 'hold the puking troll's hair back' into my social calendar."

"You need to embrace our cultural differences, coolkid." She bites your neck above the collar of the shirt and holy shit sharp danger predator! screams your monkey brain, and that just makes everything better. "Mmm, delicious squishy mammal," she mumbles into your skin, and bites you again.

"Fuck..." it comes out high and breathy, and Terezi growls as you blush, giving her even more red to work with. She licks your cheek, slow and not too slobbery, thank god.

"Tomato-cranberry mist."

"Gross," you gasp, shivering as she pushes the jacket off your shoulders.

"It's better than it sounds." She sits back enough for you to sit up and actually get the jacket off, and then just hugs it for a moment, breathing in your scent from the collar. It's enough to take you from 'interested' to 'hat-rack' in about half a second, and you can't help a little hiss because things are getting kind of cramped. Terezi flings the jacket aside to land on a chair, and grins at you. Back in the beginning of things, her tits weirded you the fuck out. You've been rewired, though, and now blank and grey is exactly what you want. Japan would be so proud. She leans in and makes that high, happy chirring sound you love so fucking much as you suck and bite way harder than pretty much any human girl would enjoy. Terezi's flesh is firmer than human here, closer to rubbery than squishy. It's weird and also great, just like being with Terezi in the first place. She nuzzles your hair and holds you close. "Mmm, human pheromones."

"Glad you like 'em," you mumble, kissing her breastbone as you start groping her with both hands, slow and way too hard for a human, more like a backrub than any of your previous techniques. She wriggles and chirps, grinding against you a little and making you moan. "Fffuuck, TZ..."

"In a minute," she coos, and even now you roll your eyes. She pushes you back down a moment later, and unbuttons your various layers while you nuzzle and bite her as best you can, doing some squirming of your own. She always leaves your tie on, and lying there in your opened and shoved up shirts makes you feel way more exposed than just being naked would. "Mmm, tastypink," she murmurs, nuzzling your nipples before sucking on them with that proprietary tenderness that melts your heart even as it works on giving you blue balls. "So delicate." She bites you gently, and you really can't help the way you jerk or the loud and high-pitched noise that comes out of your mouth. She chirrs and nuzzles you, because she has developed a thing for your 'tiny underdeveloped milk spigots' just as you have for her 'goth transformation sequence' troll boobs. Bundled up in your shirts and vest, you're not exactly tied up, but movement is difficult and the easiest thing to do is just lie here and let her torture you for a while.

You have issues with begging for anything, and Terezi is nice enough not to pretend not to understand that your pathetic little noises basically _are_ begging, and unzips your fly, which improves things a little even if you're still trapped in your underwear. She caresses you through the thin, sleek fabric, and you say something that sounds like it could have maybe been a word. She smiles, and carefully eases your cock out, smirking down at it the way she always does. Apparently the bulges of troll males taper more, making your equipment look snub-nosed and cute. This doesn't bother you as much as it probably should. You whine and writhe as she gives you a friendly squeeze, and shudder as she brings your balls out as well. The first time she had spent like, ten minutes just examining them, since all troll 'gamete-sponges' are internal. Now she just cups and rolls them, palming them in that almost-too-firm way you love so very much before letting go so she can rip your undershirt up the middle with those almost-claws of hers. This isn't a frequent display, because you're a human being and you deserve undershirts, but that just makes you more breathless as you watch.

"So cute," she says, grinning and cupping your cheek. "Your eyes are like hard candy. It's nice."

"You still don't get to lick my eyeballs, you alien freak." Honestly, you'd probably let her if she actually wanted to, which is something else she must never know. Now she just laughs, and sucks and kisses and bites your neck, grinding on you and making you moan like you're goddamn dying. She nuzzles the tie's knot, licking and chewing and making happy little bug noises because apparently tying it like this brings out the full deliciousness of the color. She wraps her hand in the tie and tugs just a bit, and you make what may be your most embarrassing noise yet. She grins and sits up, reaching around and back to grasp your cock and slide it into her nook. Since the two of you don't even share a taxonomical order and are totally exclusive, you get to bareback every time and it's fucking awesome.

You have never actually gone all the way with another human, so you're not really capable of making the comparison. From everything you've heard, read, and seen, though, a nook is a bit more like a mouth than a human vagina. It moves, but not too intensely. There's a kind of a slow, concentric inward sucking that you're pretty sure is a troll thing. Terezi takes her time, settling down on you and chirring again. You really want to reach up and touch her horns, but that's a game for another time. Right now you can barely move your arms and have to just let Terezi ride you. She has an iron grip on your tie, and holds on as she fucks you senseless. You can't really do anything but whimper and thrash and hope you don't come too soon, making pathetic little hentai gasping noises at every tug on your leash. It's not a tie anymore and you both know it. You struggle a little just to feel how pinned you really are, moaning helplessly and gazing up at Terezi and suddenly feeling unbearably exposed without your shades. She leans down to kiss you, murmuring, "It's okay, coolkid," against your lips before sitting up again and groaning, squeezing you more tightly than ever.

Terezi has said that a troll bulge can get deeper, but that your wider tip does all kinds of amazing things. It seems to work again today as she keens, the sound buzzing at the edges as she clamps down on you and tries to suck you deeper. The closest thing a troll has to a clit is buried deep inside, and you manage to get enough leverage to really thrust up, catching her by surprise and making her squeak as you force your way through that little circle of nubs that have been teasing the tip of your cock this whole time. Terezi groans and shudders, clutching at you and then quivering and contracting in hard waves as she comes all over you, a gush of pearly, teal-tinted slick that soaks your balls and your pants. There's some on your lower belly as well, and you crane your neck to just stare like a fucking idiot until your own orgasm swamps you.

You don't actually faint or anything stupid like that, but after Terezi gets your arms out of your tangled shirt, vest, and the remains of your undershirt so you can actually hug her, you doze off a little bit only to wake up naked and mostly clean, with Terezi smirking at you as she stows a box of wet wipes.

"Good morning, Dave," she says in her best HAL voice. 

It's a testament to how fucked out you are that you just mumble, "Never should've shown you that fucking movie," instead of putting your shades back on, and bury your face in her chest where it's all warm and safe and Terezi-scented. She makes a soft chittering noise, holding you close and petting your hair while you get your shit together.


End file.
